There is intellectual intelligence, emotional intelligence, relational intelligence... And situational intelligence, this set of skills that allows you to adapt to contexts, formal or informal, to activate the most relevant levers of action. An instinct ? No ! Training ! Put on your chameleon suit and put on your empathetic glasses, let's go for a bodybuilding session of your situational intelligence in 3 tips.

Plug in your situational scanner

Situational intelligence starts with analyzing the context and the protagonists at a glance. With simple questions: where, when, who, what?

• Where are we ? A formal or informal space (beware of apparently friendly atmospheres, which are nevertheless possibly very codified spaces)?  In an inviting power or in a " neutral zone" (knowing that a seemingly neutral zone, such as a restaurant or a public space, can be an extension of a protagonist's domain if there are his entrances, his habits and/or if he lives/works nearby) ?...

• When ? For a regular or occasional appointment, planned or at short notice, at a traditional work schedule or in a more atypical time slot (likely to indicate the desire for a form of intimacy, confidentiality and/or relaxation in exchanges) ?...

• Who are the protagonists involved ? What do you know about them ? What can you perceive in their posture, in their way of interacting, in the verbal and para-verbal messages they send ? What do you identify from their relationships with each other (Do you feel benevolence ? coldness or discomfort ? Do you suspect complicity or, conversely, tensions ?) And who are the absentees? Is it an impact or a tactic if, in this a priori sales meeting , the sales manager does not arrive until 20 minutes after the start of the exchange ?

• What are we here for ? What if it wasn't a classic sales meeting, but an approach with other aims, such as getting you to talk about your projects, testing the temperature with a view to possibly poaching you... Look for the signs of a possible hidden agenda: a person who immediately sets up a very friendly atmosphere, asking you more or less personal questions, may be coaxing you so that you are more disposed towards him or her and to serve his or her purposes other than those directly announced... But it may also be that she is simply warm and curious. So, pay attention to the signals but not paranoid either!

The training exercise

To strengthen your situational scanner, exercise it in moments without much at stake. For example, on public transport, make an inventory of passengers, glean clues about their personalities and their relationships with each other (whether they are people travelling together or simple travellers who are only called upon to share a few minutes of their lives but who may have exchanged a smile or a few words...), make hypotheses about their reasons for the trip, the stop at which they are going to get off... In short, you get the idea : the first situational skill is to take an interest in others ! Long live empathy !

Find your way around with the position compass

The intelligence of situations continues with the understanding of each person's positions and the choice of a clear positioning for oneself.

How do they position themselves?

The body attitude, the way of speaking, the mannerisms of each person (Does he or she speak first ? Does she wait for her to be given it? Does she cut it off from others ? Does she seem to prefer to speak last ? To be silent by just listening ?) , the direction of one's gaze (which often indicates from whom in the assembly one wishes to be heard, from whom one watches for reactions, from whom one expects approval or fears disapproval...) ; These are all indicators of the general positioning of each other in a given situation.

You now need to detect the signals that indicate their voluntary reason (conscious or not) for participating in the situation. By voluntary reason, we mean what they expect from the situation, what will give them satisfaction. Knowing that the reasons can be multiple and not necessarily all of them conscious : at the same time as a person is present to gather the information he needs to carry out his missions, he may need to assert his legitimacy, to advance his pawns in a competitive relationship, to seize the opportunity to highlight his qualities to certain people. Be careful not to overestimate one positioning over another : just because you have identified part of someone's hidden agenda does not mean that it says everything about their reasons and motivations. Take into account all the positioning markers of each person.

How do you position yourself?

You too may have several agendas at the same time. Nothing wrong with that, in substance. But tactically, it's in your best interest to be aware of what drives you in the relationship, so that you can best control the intensity of the signals you're sending.

For example, you participate in a seminar to enrich your soft skills background ; But you also intend to network and meet people who can be key in your professional progression, you are also not insensitive to the signal that the fact of having been chosen by your management to participate places you among the high potentials identified...

But what should you show as a " top note" to attract the attention of the right people, to make it clear as a " heart note" to signify that you have a lot under your feet and to leave as a singular " trail " so that you are remembered? Compose the fragrance of your presence !

The training exercise

To practice playing with the compass of positions, observe the ways in which each person plays the social game at a dinner party : how each one presents themselves, what effects of a withdrawn attitude or, conversely, of a more exuberant behavior on the members of the table, how do individuals tell their anecdotes, Do they practice name-dropping, do they mean (and in what way) that they have a privileged relationship with this or that other guest ? Try to hypothesize about their " agendas " based on these elements... While remaining benevolent !

Make the situation your horizon of opportunity

Finally, situational intelligence means making each situation a context to seize all opportunities to develop...

Capitalizing on a favourable situation

The situation is favourable to you when you are points ahead, because of your experience, your expertise, your personality, your markers of social identity. There is then a good chance that you will settle in a position that allows you to be heard, to be understood, to win your case more easily than others. Nevertheless, everything is not won in advance : your privileged position can make you suspicious of your postures.

You are expected more on humility than on assurance, on elegance than on brilliance, on listening than on capturing the word. And then you will probably have challengers, for whom the situation can be an important issue (existential, professional, social, etc.) and who may want to turn the situation to their advantage, even if it means doing so to your disadvantage.

This does not mean that their intention will be to keep you out of the game ; only that their ambition will not necessarily suffer from competition on the ground they seek to conquer. So, it will be in your interest to take the side roads to position yourself, or even to direct your energy of conquest on other terrains, less expected, less coveted.

Turn a situation around to your advantage

If you are the one who is in a position of challenger, for example because you do not evolve in your usual social environment, because you are in a " minority ", because you do not have recognized expertise in the subjects at stake, know how to play with codes ! Avoid both the temptation to conformism, which readily turns into a caricature of what you claim to imitate, and the excessive assertion of your difference.

Instead, navigate between sincere curiosity, authenticity in the expression of your values, acceptance of difference for what it is (neither an opposition nor necessarily a factor of equality, but an object of consideration in otherness), well-tempered assertiveness to advance contrary opinions or defend your points of view and positions in the event of more or less disguised attacks. In short, demonstrate your remarkable soft-skills that make you a skilled and agile person in all situations.

The training exercise

Identify in films, series, novels, how characters evolve in different situations and the effects this has on the narrative. What behavior corresponds to what temperament and what action in this or that situation turns the plot upside down. What, for example, makes the clumsiness of a character attract more goodwill than signs of irritation ?

But does this character allow himself to be imprisoned in the role of the good, clumsy, sympathetic clumsy man or does he use his awkward manners as an asset to align himself with what matters to him ? If so, how does he reverse an apparent disadvantage into an indirect benefit? The more scenarios you analyze of situational intelligence (or stupidity), the more you will strengthen your skill in multiple circumstances.