Working on being yourself, getting to know yourself better and finding your alignment is good. But this singularity that makes up your authentic personality must still be known, understood and accepted by those around you.
Not so easy... Especially in the context of work where we still too often fear that asserting oneself will be received as putting oneself forward, excessively asserting one's individuality or even defending one's individualism and imposing too many constraints on the collective... So, how can you assert your uniqueness in a healthy and effective way in the professional world?
Make one's singularities a well-positioned source of pride
Are you one of the few women in a male environment (or vice versa)? One of the few young people in a group of experienced people (or the other way around)? Are you in the minority because of your sexual orientation, your beliefs, your culture ? Do you have a visible or invisible disability ? Have you had any rare experiences? Do you have a specific talent? Do you have personal constraints that your manager and colleagues don't face ?
Don't let yourself be trapped by the " Smurfette syndrome" from the outset, which leads to two pitfalls : conformism (when you try to stifle your singularities to get as close as possible to the norm) or the overplay of exceptionality (when you become a caricature of your gender, your age, etc.). of one's condition, at the risk of no longer showing anything of oneself by dint of performing one's groups to which one belongs).
Make your singularities a reason for well-placed pride: you have no shame or embarrassment in being what you are as you are. Your identity asserting itself is not an act of militancy, it is not a provocation, not proselytism, not a contestation, it is just you who exist in the first person. What you're asking for is not preferential treatment, it's just to be considered as everyone has the right to be, while respecting your self-esteem.
As for the fact that your condition or your situation leads you to have a different rhythm from that of the majority, to have other needs, other constraints, other aspirations, you are available to work with the collective on acceptable solutions so that you and others can work and grow together. Your inclusion is not your personal problem of integration, but everyone's business.
Become an ambassador-educator of your uniqueness
Often, if singularities are difficult to express and to be accepted, it is because they are poorly known and misunderstood. It's up to you, as a person carrying a specific marker in a given environment (because let's remember that in other contexts, your particularity may be the norm) in order to highlight the various dimensions of your singularity.
Your belonging to a particular sociogroup induces a certain number of landmarks, a certain experience of things, a certain sensitivity that can make you more attentive or reactive to certain things...
Don't wait for it to turn into an object of tension to exchange with others : it is always easier to explain outside the context of a crisis what revolves around questions of identity. Nothing beats calmness to address who one is, beyond prejudices and by giving us to read all the nuances of a belonging (de facto or chosen) as well as by arguing that one is not reducible to one's apparent singularities either.
Don't be judgmental yourself. Perhaps the very fact that you are asked certain questions seems to you to be indicative of latent racism, unconscious sexism , tiresome homophobia, naïve handiphobia, latent ageism or infantism (considering the youngest as less capable), etc. But if we start from the (generally verifiable) principle that no one discriminates against a loved one for sadistic pleasure, these false paths result above all from a lack of information and culture.
Be an educator : explain without harshness, position the discussion on the ground of each person's interest in others and not of the societal debate, fight stereotypes without feeling guilty (a good way to do this is to remind people of the difference between stereotypes and biases), be concrete about the impact of your singularities on your life and on your relationships with others...
Recognize the singularities of others
And then, also make room for the authentic word of the singular other. Not all diversities are visible and it is clear that all standardised environments contain a majority of people who do not fully identify with the norm. Are you in a masculinized environment, where on the one hand there is a majority of men and on the other hand a rather virilist culture? It's worth stretching out poles to check that male individuals all feel completely comfortable with the ambient machismo...
There is a good chance that a certain number of people are rather tired of this outdated gender relationship and are just waiting to see the atmosphere evolve without daring to go against the current. Are you in a fast-oriented environment? Not sure that all the young people on the team feel completely Y-compatible ! Do you have an identified disability or a diagnosed health condition? It may be that by talking about it, you allow people who do not dare to report that they also have a disability, or who have never taken the step to talk about their difficulties to caregivers, to speak freely and to initiate care procedures.
It is a great classic for certain chronic diseases that are more or less taboo such as endometriosis, HIV, Crohn's disease, addiction, mental disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc. Do you have time constraints as a young parent ? What if your colleague whose seniors are in a situation of loss of autonomy shared a lot of concerns with you? Do you feel obliged to make people forget your belonging to a religious community? Perhaps you have more in common than everyone imagines a priori with those who avoid being aware that they are invested in an activist current, even if it is known to be particularly secular.
In short, by making your singularities the mirror of those of others, you contribute to building spaces of sharing where there are too often areas of rupture.
Propose the individual case as a collective opportunity
Finally, since by asserting your singularity, you aim neither to bring others to adopt your particular point of view nor to obtain exceptional treatment, but only to be able to live in harmony with the collective, make your reasons for soliciting changes in the environment good opportunities to produce positive effects for the greatest number.
You need flexibility to reconcile work and family life. But it doesn't matter what the cause brings you there, deep down, if this flexibility responds to a request expressed by others, whether it's to better respect their biological rhythm, to indulge in a passion, to meet commitments or anything else. For you, it is vital that we adapt the space and workstations in order to reduce your chronic pain. It can only benefit as many people as possible to benefit from ergonomic equipment.
You're not comfortable with certain uses of the culture of the collective because the private jokes of the veterans of the 1980s are not particularly funny for the awakened Millennial that you are. But doesn't everyone have something to gain from the very principle of private jokes, regardless of their date, being avoided insofar as they are the expression of a self-isolation that hinders inclusion ?
The transversality of actions is one of the pillars of inclusion that is well accepted and appropriated by everyone : be a force of proposal to raise your singular needs to the rank of benefit for all !
