A brand new study by researchers at Columbia Business School highlights that women executives now negotiate more and better than men ! This is a bit counterintuitive and well worth talking about.

The end of " women don't ask " ?

In 2007, economics professor Linda Babcock published the book Women Don't Ask. For her, it was clear : if women earned less than men, it was also because they did not negotiate their salary ! It then established at $500,000 over the course of a professional life the loss of income attributable to the fear of asking (which would be linked to the fear of being refused), the lack of assertiveness and even the unfortunate tendency of women to shoot themselves in the foot.

Babcock's work has had the salutary effect of energizing the conversation on the importance of negotiation in everyone's career path, as a counterpoint to the temptation that some women with the Cinderella complex would have to wait for their needs to be understood and satisfied rather than to express them.

But this approach has also been criticised. Some research has shown that when women negotiate, they are less likely than men to win their case because in the face of gender stereotypes, their self-assertion is not enough. Thus, it was suspected that the " women don't ask " approach made women feel guilty about something for which they were not responsible. Other research quickly highlighted the fact that if women arrived on the job market less accustomed to negotiating because they were still cradled in the complex of the good student, the gaps in negotiation skills were smoothed out over time and that after a decade of experience and provided that they felt in an environment that inspired confidence, Women and men showed equal reflexes in the discussion with the employer about pay. Also, if they negotiated less when hiring, they negotiated just as much when it came to raises.

The codes of the negotiation in question

The opening of this debate also had the effect of questioning the codes of negotiation. Could these codes be described as masculine and therefore consider that in the context of the permanence of patriarchy, men would have been implicitly favoured ?

This part of the discussion made it possible to make a series of welcome clarifications on the distinction between negotiation and the balance of power, negotiation and bargaining (or even blackmail), negotiation and manipulation... This has allowed the spread of a real pedagogy of negotiation as a fertile relational process ( integrative negotiation)  in which parties with different but compatible interests and potentially a common interest co-construct reasoned and sustainable solutions.

A real change of perspective : in the ordinary imagination, we saw negotiation as a tug-of-war calling for audacity, grip, competitive spirit, and now we have finally been able to see it as an object of dialogue summoning qualities such as listening, empathy or creativity.

Advantage for women ?

The study conducted by Rebecca Ponce de Leon and her colleagues at Columbia Business School, published in November 2024, may well suggest that the understanding of the codes of negotiation is changing.

This work shows that women are indeed asking less than men and the authors of the study to confirm that they still face a lower social eligibility of the financial requirement for oneself. In other words, when they ask for a lot, they reduce their chances of getting while men increase it. When they ask for " too much ", it risks costing them more than men in the same situation : Ponce de Leon even speaks of a " backlash " in the field of relationships and inspired trust if they are to be seen as excessively demanding during a failed negotiation. As a result, the study confirms that women unconsciously integrate a moderate demand strategy.

But they have not said their last word. Columbia academics compared the positions of women and men in two different negotiation situations: a " weak alternative" situation (the employer's proposal is take it or leave it, you can leave if it doesn't suit you) and a " strong alternative" situation (the employer cannot offer a raise on the requested position but offers another job whose value can be discussed). remuneration). Women and men testify to equivalent performances on the strong alternative. On the other hand, on the weak alternative, women outperform ! Half as many women as men reach an impasse. And they reveal a better ability to obtain a little, but always better than nothing.

Unanchoring the stereotype

It is therefore proven, women negotiate as much as men and have equivalents, if not greater abilities to succeed in their negotiations. Despite this, the idea that women do not negotiate remains very much in people's minds. Researchers at Vanderbilt University were able to objectively conclude in a 2023 study that 64% of men and 47% of women still think that women do not negotiate their salaries, even though in reality 54% of women and 44% of men actually negotiate with the employer about their compensation. In other words , today, whatever common sense thinks, there is a better chance of meeting a woman who negotiates her salary than a man in the same case !

For Jessica Kennedy, rapporteur of this study, it is urgent to deconstruct the idea that wage inequality stems from this gendered gap in bargaining interests and skills. Firstly, because it is a misconception of course, but also because this stereotype of the woman who does not dare to negotiate is deleterious. It harms women by delaying the social eligibility of their advocacy practices. As long as it is considered surprising and not trivial for a woman to negotiate, the act of negotiating will be experienced as perilous by a certain number of women. Moreover, according to Kennedy, maintaining the belief that the problem of wage inequality stems from a " lack of self-confidence, assertiveness, boldness, etc." among women is to risk missing a whole series of systemic factors that will have to be confronted if we really want to put an end to the pay gap.

In the meantime, let's not forget that negotiation requires everyone, women and men, to achieve a clever balance between assertiveness and empathy !

Marie Donzel, for the EVE webmagazine

With the valuable proofreading of Jean-Edouard Grésy, Francesco Marchi and Julien Ohana, negotiation experts and speakers at the EVE seminars.