Do you feel (sometimes, often, almost all the time) stressed ? What we can already tell you is that you are not alone : according to a recent study on the psychological well-being of the French, 64% of us feel stress at work at least once a week and the figure is even higher (70%) among those who telework regularly. Well, feeling less alone doesn't solve the whole problem. So, we give you some tips to better deal with this state of nervous tension that makes us tired.
Welcoming stress as a signal and not as an enemy
Stress is a normal reaction of the body to what our brain perceives as a danger. Stress is a kind of alarm siren: alert, there is a threat on the horizon. My comfort, tranquillity, security, freedom, integrity, health and/or identity could be jeopardized by a frightening situation, a potential conflict, excessive pressure, a challenge to my rights and freedoms, a questioning of my habits, a jostling of my bearings, an attack on my legitimacy.
The brain puts the body at attention so that it redoubles its vigilance, is ready to defend itself and if necessary to attack. So let's take stress for what it is : a kind of bodyguard (a bit primary, admittedly) who wants to protect us! Let us therefore cease to fight him, since he is on our side. But let's listen to what he has to tell us and sort out what can calm him down through rationality and what resists reassuring arguments.
Workout : When you feel stress rising, take a moment to identify what is potentially threatened within you. It can be a position in the team (with a newcomer, for example, or someone who comes to " trample on your flowerbeds "), it may have to do with your habits (if elements of your environment disrupt your routine) or with your self-esteem (if you feel that you will not be able to accomplish what is expected of you or if you have had destabilizing feedback on the quality of your work). Try to " answer " with reassuring arguments : I have my achievements on my side, I receive more marks of satisfaction than reproaches, I trust myself to be able to adapt, I can ask for help, I will negotiate a deadline, etc. Some reasons for stress will be directly soothed by this rationalization. And the others, we'll take care of them differently (that's the rest of this article).
Accepting your emotions and limits
When stress resists rational arguments, it is simply because there is a strong emotional charge. This is quite normal when we know that stress is a response to the perception of a threat. Fear is a perfectly natural emotion when you are under stress. But disgust, anger and sadness can also get involved because it is quite obvious that too much stress can harm the pleasure of working, the quality of relationships, the general feeling of fulfillment.
However, you may have already heard of " good stress " to evoke stage fright before going on stage, the pressure that gives rhythm to the action, the challenge that pushes you to surpass yourself. Indeed, because it mobilizes the body and mind and places them in a position of great vigilance, stress can increase concentration, work force or creativity tenfold. But this is at the cost of a very high expenditure of energy. In a way, stress makes us work in overdrive. However, we cannot operate too often and for too long in overrev without damaging the engine. It is therefore necessary to know how to set one's limits, first of all with regard to oneself (not asking too much of oneself) and with regard to others (knowing how to say no or negotiate conditions when the request induces an overload of stress that is too heavy to manage).
Workout : Be aware of and measure the frequency and intensity of your stress states. For a whole day, write down everything that has produced a rise in stress, from the micro-event without much stakes (leaving late and afraid of missing your bus, having forgotten something at home, receiving a phishing SMS to which you had the mind not to respond, but which still required you to be vigilant, etc.). with moderate stakes (receiving a worrying email, being slightly late on a file by an unforeseen event...) or high stakes (being blamed, learning about a big change, living in a conflictual situation). At the end of the day, take stock of what you have accumulated to see if it makes sense to tackle the pile of administrative paperwork to be processed now. But since you'll have to take care of it, try to preserve yourself a little more the next day, just to reserve energy to devote to it.
Produce less stress around you to stress yourself less
The great enemy of systemic stress is relational ecology: the less stress you communicate to others, the less stressed you are yourself. How does it work ? It's simple, every time you put pressure on others, two things happen: first, you raise your level of demands at the same time as you raise that of the other (you increase your horizon of expectations, which leads you to widen the perimeter on which you will have to be vigilant); Secondly, the stress that the other person feels also spreads in the atmosphere (by the way, you only have to smell the smell of a closed room in which stressed people have stayed together for an hour to realize this, at first sight!).
It is in your best interest to work not to stress others so as not to pollute your own environment. You can even go further by taking action to relieve stress. So, concretely, make reasonable requests to others (in terms of deadlines, resources allocated), making sure to always take care of their self-esteem and giving them benevolent and constructive feedback .
Practice exercise: Whenever you have an urgent request to make to someone, start by questioning the notion of urgency. To what extent is it as urgent as what you perceive from it? In view of the degree of urgency, can you ask for the same level of quality as when the deadlines are less tight? What are the resources to be allocated so that things are done with the adjusted degree of urgency and with the expected quality? And only once you have answered these three questions (the real urgency, the expected quality, the resources allocated), can you make a clear request to others... Of course, leaving room for the expression of one's emotions and needs !
