A gloomy context, an anxiety-provoking environment, an uncertain future... There is sometimes reason to be in low spirits. We may know that the positive attracts the positive and that seeing life on the bright side consumes much less energy than complaining, but it's not always easy to get the optimism pump back on track. So, we suggest a little self-coaching session to find the positive.
Count the " kifs "
Those who have followed Florence Servan-Schreiber's EVE workshop, read her books or seen her play know it (but it always deserves to be remembered): in each day, there are at least three good reasons to enjoy it. And even more, if you want !
But what is a kif, by the way ? According to the author's definition, it is " a moment, a situation, an interaction, an event, a perception or an emotion provoking a sensation of pleasure, ease, love, amusement, well-being, benefit, luck, creation, happiness, conscience, complicity, charm, contentment, delight, gluttony, distraction, meaning, connection, euphoria, expression, fantasy, bliss, grace, gaiety, joy, enjoyment, recreation, satisfaction or voluptuousness for which one feels gratitude. »
In other words, anything that makes us want to say thank you ! Knowing that on the other hand, saying thank you with sincerity is in itself a booster of optimism and well-being.
Training exercise
Set an alarm every day at the same time (randomly at 8:43 a.m., 2:12 p.m. or 8:07 p.m., in short, whenever you want) to give yourself 30 seconds to designate three things that are as many reasons for pleasure on this day. Maybe it's the weather, music you heard in the morning, a beautiful look you met, a food you ate, a good smell you smelled, a job you're happy with, something that made you (smile)... Better yet, you can keep a small notebook of your daily kifs and reread it at the end of the week or whenever you feel a slump coming.
Whistling the glass half full with greed
It is said that there are those who look at the glass half empty or those who see it half full... But isn't the question really what we do with the glass once we have noticed its level of filling? What if we drank the beverage ? What if instead of monitoring the gauge of what we have, we took advantage of it more ? Let's have fun ! Let's seize our chance ! Let's devour life when it brings us happiness !
It is a question of living the present moment in short, as it comes, as it is, by welcoming one's emotions. Thus, by making full room for joy, contentment, and feelings of well-being, we are also better equipped to welcome other emotions, such as anger or sadness, which deserve nothing more or less to be listened to.
Training exercise
When you feel joy, pleasure, joy, carefreeness, hold the note as you would sing. Something makes you laugh, prolong this pleasure by keeping in mind the motive of amusement. A dish delights you, take the time to appreciate the flavors in each bite. A piece of music charms you, listen to it again, paying attention to each instrument, each inflection of the voice. Etc.
Share
Happiness is other people, with all due respect to Mr. Sartre ! Having social relationships is the first factor of satisfaction in life, before the feeling of professional success, before housing conditions, before having leisure or time for oneself. But why ?
Because through relationships, we activate neural connections and stimulate the production of hormones that participate in the satisfaction and reward system. When we feel surrounded, when we give our
trust and/or feel that of the other, we produce oxytocin (the attachment hormone); When we dialogue, we boost our serotonin levels; when we contribute to a collective project, dopamine gets involved and our creativity awakens (and reveals itself); When we share emotions, endorphins celebrate.
So, yes, it's true, it takes a little effort to get in touch with others and maintain relationships, but I promise, science has proven it, it's all beneficial.
Training exercise
Once in a while, arm yourself with a small notebook and write down every human interaction you have throughout the day, from greeting the neighbor in the stairwell to making a phone call to your dentist to set up an appointment, to looking at a stranger on the street, The exchanges at work, the help given to someone in difficulty, the one you received from someone else, the door held, the benevolent smile offered... In the evening, count the interactions that you would describe as positive or negative. We bet that the balance is on the right side ?
