As you know, self-confidence is not sui generis... This stems from a global environment of trust in which everyone feels authorized to assert their singular identity, to participate in the collective, to show boldness. So, it is up to all of us to contribute to building and maintaining this foundation of trust.

Inspiring trust in others is a win-win : you will move forward faster with others by making them move forward. But how do you inspire confidence ? A few tips to strengthen this essential soft-skill .

To inspire confidence, be authentic !

We tend to think that to inspire confidence in others, we must first of all look robust, without fear or reproach, with unfailing determination, know how to remain unmoved in the face of adversity, show the face of quiet authority, show a confidence that commands respect...

Uh, that's fine, if that's really who you are. But you're certainly not just that. And on the other hand, if you don't have all the qualities mentioned above or that at home, these qualities come and go, well, nothing serious. You can still inspire confidence. Because the most reliable thing is authenticity.

Drop the masks, show a true personality, don't try to embody someone else (if only because to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, there is everything to be gained by being yourself insofar as others are already taken !). It is allowed to have flaws, it is welcome to assume them, it is profitable to count on others to accept them. Deeply probe YOUR qualities that inspire confidence in others.

Training exercise

Think of 3 different situations (one in your professional life, one in your family life and one in your friendship) in which you have been shown trust (by entrusting you with a sensitive mission, by asking you for an important service, by revealing a secret etc.) and identify which traits of your personality gave the other person the intuition that you were the right person at that moment.

Be careful to focus on your qualities and not on your status or roles (professional title, parenthood, etc.). Then revisit all the situations in which you have implemented these qualities.

Give your attention, strengthen your understanding

Also place your authenticity, and especially your sincerity, in the relationship with others, especially when you pay attention to them. A person who is a good listener already gains a third of the trust of others.

The second third is won through understanding : ask real questions (i.e. questions without ulterior motives, without attributing intentions...), propose reformulations, indicate your willingness to understand the other person's point of view and situation, express direct and direct needs, manifest or latent... Encourage freedom of speech by providing guarantees in terms of confidentiality of exchanges, the right to make mistakes, and recognition of others.

The third third is carried away with the ability to respond in a relevant and legible way to the needs expressed while preserving the interests of other parties. Explain your decisions, always leaving the door open to dialogue.

Training exercise

Imagine a dream professional interview. What would you like to talk about first ? How would you like to be listened to ? What would allow you to lift self-censorship on certain subjects ? What questions would you like to be asked ? To what extent would you like to participate in the construction of the solutions that concern you? What would make you consider this interview a success ? The answers to these questions already give you a lot of indications on the posture you can adopt when you are the one interviewing someone!

Maintain trust...

Trust is always an interaction : the trust you give nourishes the trust you receive. On a day-to-day basis, give signs of the trust you have in each other (encourage, show recognition, salute successes, reframe with kindness) and receive what those around you show you as signals of the trust you inspire in them.

When you are asked for something, it is because you are trusted to listen and answer. When someone criticizes your action, it's because they trust you to improve. When you are challenged, it is because you are trusted to surpass yourself. Receive these " gifts " of the relationship with humility... And give back : by giving thanks, providing answers, but also by asking follow-up questions and asking for help, you build trust.